Okay, it's the Brit Awards tonight and if I'm around I will post the winners here as they are announced!
Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne are hosting the event live on ITV. I'm sure they'll have a few seconds pause so they can bleep out any swearing from Ozzy. Being live on tv might result in some antics from the winners too.
As I mentioned before it's a very "pop" list this year and Kylie, Mika, Mark Ronson (possibly with Amy Whitehouse) and Rihanna will be performing live, as well as a medley from Outstandning Contribution winner, Sir Paul McCartney.
***THE BLOG OF LISTS GOES LIVE***
::8pm Ok, here we go, the show is about it star. I'm sure it will be infuriating but compulsive in equal measures. Let's hope we have a Chumbawumba or Cocker/Jackson type moment.
::We're live from Earl's COurt (via ITV). Mika kicks off the show with "Love Today". He's about to be eaten by a big spider! He seems to have his own paper theatre set thing. I really mustn't comment on his singing cos I CAN'T STAND MIKA!
::Beth Ditto from The Gossip has joined him on stage and they murdering "standing in the way of control". It's awful! Beth in wearing a pink Shirley Temple dress
::The curtain's just dropped and hidden Beth as Mika goes into "Grace Kelly", he's having trouble hitting the notes. Sal (my wife!) says he looks like one of those weird little girls in an American beauty pagaent! "Why don't you like me?" he sings... where do I start?
:: He's finished at last, big cheers?
:: The Osbournes arrive on stage to big shouts from Ozzy. Sharon says "can you believe it?" and decribes the opening act as "big assed"!
:: First award, Chris Moyles presents ("My future son-in-law" says Sharon).
He seems to be filling.
British live act:
Arctic Monkeys
Kaiser Chiefs#
Klaxons
Muse
Take That
(Winner chosen by BBC Radio 2 listeners)
From boy band to man band says the announcer. National treasures apparently.
Very smart in suits. Gary thanks all the usual industry bods, and Mark is first to swear "bloody hell". Jason has saying they worked so hared and "dead chuffed" and thanks the gig audiences. Howard thanks the roadies. Bless 'em.
:: Live act 2, Klaxons and Rihanna, Klaxons beat over the top of "Umberella-ella-ella".
Surprisingly it works. The "Golden Skans" "ooo-ooo-aahs" in the background. She's a good live singer. Major laser show too. Surprisingly good.
:: Fern Cotton backstage with Take That. Mark reveals they got copies made for the one they won last year. They wanted Live Act from the four nominations.
:: We can vote for British single if we want. Not on your nelly with all the phone scams on TV!
:: Ad break, it all seems to be moving on quickly.
:: We're back. New award from critics.
Critics' Choice Award (newcomer most likely to succeed in 2008):
Adele
She doesn't look like you think she would. To present it, Will Young, who does look like you'd expect. Adele graduated from the Brits school. Wonder why she won!?
She's thanking everyone including her Mum. The Brit School are in the audience.
:: Jonathan Rhys Meyer presents the breakthrough act. Sharon wanta to lick him!
British breakthrough act:
Bat For Lashes
Kate Nash
Klaxons*
Leona Lewis
Mika.
(Winner chosen by BBC Radio 1 listeners)
Mika collects toy theatres apparently. Loud scream from Mika. Thanking everyone for working like dogs.
Kate Nash doesnt look happy.
::Kylie live, she's looking sophisicatingly sexy, as ever. Singing "Wow". Ive never heard her sing this song live very well. Ah well, lets just watch. Robotling dancers and neon backdrop. She's starting to look older but great for her age. Blonde straight hair looks good. She doesn't show her bum enough these days!
::Luckily there was a break cos power went on my laptop!
::Kelly Rowland presents next award.
International male solo artist
Bruce Springsteen
Kanye West
Michael Buble
Rufus Wainwright*
Timbaland.
Described by Kelly as "my boy". Kanye being humble on video thank you but says "it doesnt come natural".
::Kelly O cracks up at her mum's line fluffs. Beth Ditto arrives in a new dustsheet, I mean dress.
British male solo artist:
Jamie T
Mark Ronson
Mika
Newton Faulkner*
Richard Hawley
Man of the moment. First time ever a non-singer has won this category, he's produced loads though. "Never felt so male or British". Says is thank yous are boring "like a shopping list" and thanks all the singers. Thanks his dad for his trumpet fascination and the Brits cos he was born in New York.
:: Kaiser Chiefs live "Ruby". 3d Skyscrapers growing out of the floor! and clouds background is great. Helicopters fly over now. Sound not great, it's as if everyone voice monitors aren't on properly (on all the acts). Backing "aaa-aah-aahs" sound awful. Seen them live too and they were much better.
::Ronson and Ditto backstage. He loves Beth and says he has already won 3 awards before this week.
::Surprise after break for Mark Ronson, but Fern wont say, "oh Noooo, no no". Hmmm, I guess Amy's been kept off the skag tonight then.
:: We're back. Sharon's changed. Shock horror.
Here's international female presented by Dr Who, I mean David Tennant.
International female solo artist:
Alicia Keys
Bjork*
Feist
Kylie Minogue
Rihanna.
Another award for someone who perfeormed on the night. Her third ever Brit. Lovely black number on now. Sold 68 million records. Lucky David gets a wiggle, giggle and a big hug. She gets the biggest cheer of the night. "Overcome" "Incredible" thanks all the usual. Thanks for supporting her the past few years. "grateful and thankful".
:: Next act, Leona Lewis. Loads of dancers on stage, wonder if they the same as Kylies with a costume change? She still looks like an Afghan hound in a purple dress. "Bleeding Love", great voice, irritating song. She is really like a Disney princess, bland, she's really trying to inject "personality" into the performance but she's just a voice. Less annoying than Mariah Carey though, and I prefer her voice, despite the warbles. Uh, petals (or is it butterflies) to finish.
::International group. Presented by Denise Van Outen and Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber. Odd couple. Bad joke from the knight about presenting the best international group goes down like Mika does in this household. None of nominees here.
::International group
Arcade Fire
Eagles
Foo Fighters*
Kings of Leon
White Stripes.
Dave Grohl accepts on video, "wishes he could be there" - said ironically!
::James Nesbit announced Man Utd are losing and ...
British female solo artist:
Bat For Lashes
Kate Nash
KT Tunstall*
Leona Lewis
PJ Harvey
Two years in the row for ex-Brit Schooler. She recognises a few ex-schoolmates in the crowd at the front. Thanks a phonebook's worth and the Brit School cos arts in education important.
::Voting for single over. Bionic Woman Michelle Ryan presents...
International album:
Arcade Fire - Neon Bible
Eagles - Long Road Out Of Eden
Foo Fighters - Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace*
Kings of Leon - Because Of The Times
Kylie Minogue - X.
Dave's back on screen claims "not to have got one of these before" and lists bands that have won before (such "greats" as Kula Shaker and Shakespears Sister) and proud to be associated with them all!
::Mark Ronson back on stage, with his band this time. Medley, Coldplay's "God Put a Smile on My Face" sung (quite well) by Adele. The Smiths' "Stop Me" sung by the guy on the Ronson single (cant remember his name). Amy Winehouse is on for "Valerie", shes looking VERY skinny, not good, seems a bit out of time, she's a mess. It's always like watching a car crash. Her voice hasn't stood up to the abuse. It's tragic. Hug from Mark, big cheers. She really should be kept out of the spotlight for a while, it's like people watching a freakshow and it's not fair.
:: Well needed break and I notice we have a live comment. Woohoo, thanks Mr Vimes
:: Oops, technical hitch, dont know if Sharon was too rude!
Sir Ian McKellen on stage to award... (and meet Mika apparently!)
British group:
Arctic Monkeys*
Editors
Girls Aloud
Kaiser Chiefs
Take That
Second year running I think. They havent snubbed it this year. this could be fun. Howard from Take That pretending to cry. Are they dressed as English Country gemtlemen. They dont have speech, but blow a hunting horn!
::Amy Winehouse singing "Love is a Losing Game". She's obviously so off her head. It's embaressing cos she is such a talent. Not like this. As Sal says, "she's so gonna get slated for this". She gurning, cant stop jigging nervously and eyes all over. As is her voice. I really dont like to watch. Asks crowd to "makes some noise for my husband Blake"
::Best Single votes in and counted. Alan Carr has the envelope.
British single:
Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love
Mika - Grace Kelly
Take That - Shine
Mark Ronson Ft Amy Winehouse - Valerie
The Hoosiers - Worried About Ray
(Winner decided by a live public vote on the night)
Just beat Leona apparently. Alan Carr wants a kiss from them all like last year but settles for handshakes. They seem very happy. Jason telling us its great even in late 30s to get awards (athritic knees and Howard's punctured lung)! Mark remembers to thank the voters! Oooh, theyre nice boys. Sharon agrees with that one I think!
::Kelly is embaressed about her mum's bingo ads! Sharon says they paid for her dress.
::Vic Reeve to announce the big one. Sharon calls him a pisshead as he stumbles through!
British album:
Arctic Monkeys - Favourite Worst Nightmare*
Leona Lewis - Spirit
Mark Ronson - Version
Mika - Life In Cartoon Motion
Take That - Beautiful World
This'll be the bit in the papers, Sharon reads it out as she tells Vic to piss off!!! .
Take That a close second apparently. Vic's still there being "a pisshead". Sharon urges them to say something and says "what have they come as", thats not suppoised to be heard. Theyre trying to be funny taking 5the mickey out of the Brits school. I'm sure they find it funny. They're cut off!
Cuts to Fern, I think Sharon has been gagged!
And as one of our blog commenters Vimes says "Vic Reeves and Sharon Osbourn classic car crash TV, Vic is as funny as a kick in the teeth." They needed that ad break!
Four nominations, a performance tonight but no wins for Leona.
::Sharon's back, with the rest of the family. Ozzy introducing one of his heroes "Mr Sir Paul McCartney". But he's too early they need to show the video!
and to present it, Meather Mills, oops no sorry, Kylie
Shes saying how the Beatles brought down the barriers, a huge honour for her, and her he is Macca
Outstanding contribution to music:
Sir Paul McCartney
He looks good. A lot of stress taken off him this week. He says he honoured and British music is the best. Lets hope after that lot he proves it with this performance.
Ozzy gets to introduce his hero again!!!
He starts with his latest ditty "Dance Tonight". I love this song, even with its mandolin and whistles. It's just got "nice" written all over it. Simplisity was Paul's strong point. Clever simplicity. Happy. Smiley. Damn, he looks like he's lost years since I last saw him. (Maybe he's used the Botox stall backstage - this is real!!!)
"Are you rocking?" he asks
Brilliant, "Live and Let Die". He's brought the flamethrowers from his Glastonbury set (and the big screen adds to it too). His voice aint what it used to be but its fantastic. He's got the best backing band too. Huge cheers.
He always seems like he's in front of mates. So relaxed. He's been doing it a while though.
Hey Jude. Had to be didnt it. Reminds me of one of my best Glastonbury moments, with my sis and her little daughter, they both huge fans. Then the "na nana nahs" all night afterwards. The crowd are doing the same here at the Brits.
Just gets the boys to "nananah"
Then the ladies.
"everybody altogether now cmon cmon..."
I can't believe it's taken him so long to get this award!
So a solo, a Wings and a Beatles hit then. Confetti, massive cheers, a few "oooooooo"'s. He's a natural. Standing ovation. He claps the audience. They shout the place down for him. Great ending to a rather tame affair really.
::So there you have it. Cheers to the few who came along for the blogride. Please leave comments even if you weren't her live. Right, I need a drink.
PS, Manchester United pulled one back (and got an away goal) at Lyon in the first leg of the knockout stage game of the Chapions League. Phew!
An awards list now that is just a little more what the kids think! The MTV Movie Awards don't tend to contain the Academy Awards-worrying films (but then the Oscars don't have a Best Kiss Oscar), these are more populist fare, keeping in with the audience that votes, the MTV generation. Amongst some intereting categories the best is the Best Summer Movie So Far. I wonder how Indy 4 and The Dark Knight would have done had they been released before voting ended. Terribly, I've only seen one of the winning films, the excellent Juno.
